“Loud-phone-conversation-in-public-guy.”

You know who I’m talking about.

I like to work in a local bookstore sometimes. There’s a cafe with good coffee and ginger cookies. You’re surrounded by books in a historic old building. And it’s usually relatively quiet.

Except when “loud-phone-conversation-in-public-guy” is there. Then the entire room gets to listen in on half a phone conversation about getting orders shipped from Tulsa to Toledo, and the incompetence of the back office in Boise.

Or worse, we get to hear both sides of the conversation because “loud-phone-conversation-in-public-guy” decides he’s going to put the entire conversation on speakerphone, for everyone’s listening pleasure.

My wife, Renee’, was in Target the other day and “loud-phone-conversation-in-public-guy” was a lady talking to her friend, who was weeping and sharing details of a difficult day. All on speaker for your entertainment while shopping at Target.

You can find this guy in most coffee shops, and he’s always waiting for a flight at the airport. Say “hi” from me next time you see him.

Great leaders are self-aware leaders.

Yet, the “Self-Aware CEO” is harder to find than one might think. Many leaders don’t have a clue how they’re coming across to others. This lack of awareness can be cognitive (I assume I’m better than everyone around me), emotional (no sense of how I’m feeling and how those feelings are affecting others), or physical (two words: body odor). Steve Jobs, someone who is considered an idyllic CEO was guilty of all three.

It’s possible to learn self-awareness.

Here’s where to start.

Be aware of your annoyances.
In one sense that’s not hard. “Loud-phone-conversation-in-public-guy” is clearly one of mine. Take a moment to internalize the thing annoying you, and check to see what you do that probably annoys others. Whether it’s smacking your gum or micro-managing your team, there are things you do that are potentially as annoying as “loud-phone-conversation-in-public-guy.”

How do people perceive you?

How do you come across?

These questions shouldn’t cripple you to act. But “what-you-see-is-what-you-get” bravado doesn’t make a great leader.

As you grow in your self-awareness, you will grow in your influence for making this world a better place.

That is good leadership.