How Better Negotiation Practices Could Lead To More Pie Shops
The art of conversational negotiation is a lost art that I wish to recover. American methods of negotiation are completely positional and tend toward the bombastic.
Roger and Ury’s old school, “Getting to Yes” is a great tool for this.
Full disclosure, when I read this for the first time, I kind of hated it. It felt like a way to use slimy psychological manipulation to get your way.
I was wrong.
The principles are simple ways to negotiate without getting into a personal argument. It’s how to maneuver through a positional disagreement in such a way that doesn’t result in personal and familial insults.
One of our ceiling fans died a couple of days ago. It has a bad motor. Turns out, the fan company has a lifetime warranty on the motor. Also turns out that it’s a difficult process to cash in on said warranty.
It all came down to a receipt.
That I didn’t have.
A sub-contractor installed these fans 4 years ago. I have the owner’s manual. I have an invoice from the contractor. I don’t have the receipt.
After an hour of moving through the ranks, it all came down to a phone conversation with a supervisor. (Lower level customer service had already said, "No. We must have an original receipt.")
I had my argument prepared, and had already escalated it in my head. “I have five ceiling fans in my house, and will never use your brand again. I will tell all my friends and post on Facebook …”
That’s not how to do it.
Here’s the framework I followed:
1. Never, ever, ever bargain over positions.
Positional bargaining never produces wise or efficient decisions.
2. Separate the people from the problem.
This supervisor isn’t my problem. He’s actually my ally. Don’t alienate an ally. Plus, he has kids at home and bills to pay, and would rather be running his own pie and coffee shop than getting paid $15 bucks an hour as a customer service supervisor.
3. Focus on interests over positions.
He wants a happy customer, who is also not ripping off the fan company. He needs to make his auditors happy with the proof-of-purchase. I want a replacement fan.
We want the same things.
4. Invent options for mutual gain.
I provide him with every physical evidence I possibly can to satisfy his interests. He has a highlighted 168-page invoice from the contractor, photos of my owners manual, photos of the model number on the fan, and photos of the installed fan.
This is what he needs.
He will be sending me a new fan.
There is a 5th principle in the framework.
5. Insist on using objective criteria.
This keeps things from getting emotional. We never got there. James and I (yes, we are now on a first-name basis) had an agreeable conversation and reached a satisfactory agreement.
No name-calling.
We’re both happy.
Avoid the bombastic name-calling kind of negotiation. It makes the world a better place.
And maybe James now has the headspace to go home tonight to work on starting that pie shop.
