Over the past 20+ years of ministry related work, I've learned to make up for my lack of organizational/management bias with technology based systems. An iPhone with things like digital reminders and Siri have been amazing tools which have made me a better and more reliable person. One of my favorite tools is an application called Omnifocus, which is an overall project/life management tool based on David Allen's "Getting Things Done". I am by no means a productivity king, but this stuff sure helps an unstructured mind like mine make sure that I meet deadlines and get my work finished. In Mongolia, it was not uncommon to have fifteen to twenty projects with hundreds of to-do reminders in my Omnifocus software telling me what I need to do and when and where I need to do it.

Here's the weird thing.

Today, I have absolutely nothing left in my Omnifocus. Nothing. I have no projects. The most information I have in my phone which even remotely resembles a to-do list is a short list of items to pick up next time I go to a Walmart. That's four things. Should be able to knock that out this afternoon.

I've just finished a season of life which was full of activity, projects, people, events, schedules, interruptions, family, travel and work.

Now I am in a season which involves a lot of leisure and I am finding this uncomfortable. My fidgetiness has made other people around me a bit uncomfortable, as well. It's so easy to get sucked into a culture which celebrates being busy as a measure of importance.

I am discovering that my identity has been so tied up in work and ministry and pastorate and missions, that I've actually forgotten who I am as a disciple. It's a little bit painful to realize. The thought of the possibility of not being in ministry or missions scares me a little. Or maybe it scares me a lot. However, it's actually not who I am. Ephesians 1 and 2 is who I am. That's my real identity and significance. It has nothing to do with what I do or what I don't do in ministry and missions. And identity has nothing whatsoever to do with how full or empty my project list in Omnifocus may be.

See, I know this.

But I don't know this.

Faith really has little to do with what is known. Faith has everything to do with how well I am resting.

If I'm all fidgety and restless about what is coming next. If my anxiety levels about these issues are so increased that I can think of nothing else, I probably have to say that I'm not really trusting Jesus on the matter.

The counsel I've received a lot recently is to rest and I'm having an amazingly difficult time doing that.

So, I am learning Matthew 11:28 again in a new way. Come to Jesus for rest and grace. He is life. Therefore, He is enough.

And my personal worth has little to do with my Omnifocus database.